Muscle in Control

Not enough to be mingling with engkantos, fate must be playing a joke on me that another hilarious character comes along my way. If you get to listen to this person you might think that you are listening to either the owner of Muscle in Control fitness gym or to the late Lourdes Carvajal. Some might be wondering who these people are. The latter is better known as Inday Badiday and the former as Inday Garutay- both known in their own circles as authorities of what they claim to be doing. I may say that it is the same with this guy who sounds just like the two Indays. Possibly if Inday Garutay did not manage to create quite a following for her comedic antics- maybe this guy/girl would earn a living just doing that. Or maybe I can contact Inday Garutay and introduce them so that she will have a spare self just in case she is sick for a performance or that she is incapable of committing to conflicting occasions. I however doubt that is likely because this guy/girl who sounds like Garutay is rumored to be a womanizer and is a frequent visitor of massage parlors.

Of Dwarves and Ogres

I see some enchanted characters everyday. Before you say I am delusional, let me share some of my proofs to my claim that I am seeing these mythical creatures everyday. First is a dwarf who has a very irritating voice and a very unpredictable temper. One moment you are friends and the next she is snapping at you. Maybe imps are really that way so I can not blame her. As the fairy tales would say- never trust a greedy imp! I am just irritated with her choice of words to describe someone- I for one is a seasoned okrayera and that I only get to mince some spicy words at people whom I think I am in the position to bash. But for that imp to speak ill of me? shit to her and her impish features- better scurry to your anthill before I find a way to crush you.

That is not the end of my encounters with the mythical- an ogre is also joining us along the way. His ogrish features are really annoying and he appears to be a know-all ogre. I am very disgusted at how he butts in on conversations with his very very very very shallow intrusions. I do not know of his intentions but I guess it fits that the imp must be the mother of this ogre since they act alike- very jepalyn porte at the highest levels. Let me bet that this ogre is very happy now since a Buhawi Jack recently joined his pack so he will get to have other means to exercise his know-it-all capabilities. One reliable source which we can temporary call as Tutti Fruity that the fiance of that ogre is a girl with a beard. What a circus we have here. wait up till I round up every bit of his constituents and I might put up a carnival that will match that of the Ringling Brothers on the Freak show category.

Now instead of being grateful to be around these creatures (as they were rumored to grant wishes) I am annoyed to the last bit. I just hope I can find an effective albularyo who can teach em a trick or two to ward off these nuisances.

PS . A friend just shared yesterday how a giant is pestering her with misguided understanding of some facts. I did not expect that these giants are kinda slow. Maybe there are no classrooms fit to accommodate them. hahahaha

Nanette Inventor

I can not really surmise where this guy is picking up his guts when claiming that he is a hot personality while he is far from that. He would oftentimes act cool and sarcastic as if he is in the position to do so. Position wise in his job- it is a big NO. Physical appearance- a bigger NO and the attitude the biggest NO.

Note this, according to him he went to bed with a lot of women and that they keep coming back because of his bed skills. Bed skills my ass!! On my opinion although I have no experience going to bed with someone, my libido might get flushed out the moment I will stare at his face. Not that he is very ugly but he is just too plain- plainness not enough to arouse. So where did that line of girls come from? Maybe they all lined up in his dreams.

After venting hard on that issue, let me greet first our dear friend Chiquitita who follows this blog dearly. I woul like to warn people who are so mafeeling that our Chiquitita is not at all happy with what you are doing. Watch out bad dogs!

The Gracious Manner We Need

Whether I am bitter or merely sour graping is not in my list of considerations given that I am fully irked with the treatment I received from a few people I once considered as friends. Me and my few close friends went to a party after an invitation of an old acquaintance. We were not expecting to be accommodated excessively but expected a rather civilized way of getting entertained since we did not go there as gate crashers. My friends and I vary in our reasons for attending the event- some would be to check on the lives of our friends and maybe some to just rekindle the memories of once working on that institution. Waiting for quite sometime outside of the venue is not the big thing yet as the greeting of the "friend" who came to fetch us turned to be more irking.

Despite the sour hospitality endured by the group, we feel blessed to have been refreshed of where most of us started and to share stories of how we are going about these days. Maybe we all need that from time to time- to touch base with what we once considered our home. Still, our adventures did not end with the incident at the gate as the venue proved to be a stronger challenge. Most of the old people we used to work with started turning their heads and made some whispers with their cohorts. Not that I give a damn to what they say but they should know that it is quite impolite to do that.

So from harsh welcomes to eyes on our direction came the crown of all the disappointments- the food. Me and a friend already ate dinner as we have somewhat anticipated that but another friend gave them the benefit of the doubt and hoped they would serve good food. Lo and behold, the pasta they served is Panisia Pacquiao and that I kept wondering why only our friends noticed that despite the sour smell filling the air. wait there's more, maybe they have intentionally done that because the main courses are yet to be served. True enough, came an intermission featuring crispy patas and some lechons. San ka pa naumay ka na dun! BOG!!!

Santelmo

July is nutrition month reminding us to be mindful of our diets, and reminding us of the various comparisons made to describe humans using the characteristics of vegetables and fruits. We have cheeks that are as red as cherry or apple or some would describe people as plump as a pumpkin. It seems nice to hear these similes in English as it seems to be not so rude. Funny that when comparisons are made in Tagalog, it appears to be unrefined and harsh.

Conforming with the celebration this month, I will share of someone that I can say is consistent with the vegetable- human comparison. We have candidate number 1 who is much like a momordica Charantia not because of the physical aspects but because of how he/she treats things. I may not blame him/her as there are many biases in the world but the extreme bitterness is quite annoying. In the end, he ends up exhausting him/herself trying to outperform people who never intended to compete with him/her in the first place. A piece of advice to him/her is to disregard what other people may think but start to think of how much he/she really values her/himself. Candidate number 2 is so much like a Ridge Luffa not because of the size of the vegetable or any of his/her body organ/parts but because of the two syllables that constitute the Tagalog term of the vegetable. Much like Miss/Mr Momordica, Miss/Mr Ridge Luffa is never tired of pursuing and picking fights ranging from the nonsense to the most important ones. Seems that Luffa does not have the ability to distinguish important from unimportant matters or he/she is merely too childish to keep in mind that nothing good comes from striking at every misunderstanding.

Again, kumain ng gulay para di laglag ang IQ.

Inborn All

Pawnshop robbers have once again ransacked and looted using their recent modus operandi of making tunnels to the vault. Now who would not tire out of using the same scheme over and over again. To evade detection from their usual tactic, they have somehow been more creative this time by going through the sewerage system instead of painstakingly excavating from an adjacent unit. Having heard this from the media, I come to be inspired to write an article and at the same time raise public awareness on the sewearge system.

So the story for today will involve two characters that are both related to the sewerage system. I have this acquaintance who I suspect to be a Hally Berry according to some reliable sources who is a certified steward of good health. I have nothing against this certain Hally Berry but her unstable decisions and the manner with which she/he deceives people is rather impeccable just like the skill of the vermin residing on the sewer. Now we have character number two whose character is as murky and smelly as the waters flowing in the sewer. So he/she will be friends with you in a moment but the moment you turn your back from him/her, he/she will bash you. What a character! Not just that, this Character number 2 is very Praning who always assume that he/she is the content of every conversation. Whatafeeling much! So for those people around these characters- beware! beware!

 

Singapore

I am better inspired to feature Singapore today due to the first thing that came through my mind once I stepped on the FX going to work. Lo and behold, a jejemon is sitting on the front seat of the FX and is periodically checking himself on the mirror and see if the position of his hair is in place. The extreme vanity I am observing gleaned from his habitual mirror habit and the frequency with how he does it. Including the cheap powder he placed in his handkerchief to make him eternally fresh. Wow that is just so Gay.

So I know of someone who is in my opinion- again a CLOSET. I do not know, I just have this extreme dislike for closets. So this alleged closet is the type who preys on new comers and is usually portraying the big brother type to take care of the younger sibling. So neophytes have no choice but to go with his tactics just so to feel that they belong. Once the neophyte is growing some horns, this alleged closet will start to throw tantrums. Aside from the fact that he is an alleged closet, I am pretty sure that he is a best in tantrums awardee. That is just so gay. And mind this, he is even confident to persecute fellow closets while in fact he is one of them. Isn't it ironic?

isip-isip pulutin ang IQ. Galingan para di umupo sa row 4.